I have been wanting to write more personally about masculine and feminine cultivation in relationship for some time, and what it is like as a woman who is aware that her own cultivation is most intimately bound to that of her partners, and how in order to build being and creatively dream reality there is a natural and necessary call to him (my man) to step more and more into his masculinity.
As a woman in relationship I love to be able to go deeply in my feminine essence with men, its is where my strongest cultivation lies, as in, by just being what is most inherent to me, which brings me joy, I naturally call in more masculinity to meet that; which then in turn pulls more out of me and begins to carve and shape me, and thus the cultivation continues. He becomes more him and I become more her; and this is all naturally arising, this is not a conceptual thing, its an embodied living experience.
What is so profound and moves me to love someone so deeply; is that I am having this really rich experience of him on the deepest level, who he truly is that is unique and specific; not a projection, not an overlay, an embodied awareness of his crystalline nature; that is rooted in the inherent qualities of his nature ~ which always matches qualities that are inherent to me. Foundationally I recognise we are in and of the same, essentially so, and there has been enough claiming there to match my own which creates the magnetism; It is from that basic horizon where the qualities of awareness first appear, uniqueness begins to build and births the masculine and begins to move forwards taking on chosen forms.
I find myself choosing to be with men who have cultivated these deeply rich natures and forms, embedded in emptiness yet so profoundly uniquely appearing to me (they feel like one a million to me, and that adds to the richness, it is not just any man ~ it is natural and obvious, this now, it is him). What attracts me primarily is the quality of being, usually the essential qualities of beauty and purity and then rich quality of masculinity they have is related to their embodiement and chosen forms, that matches the cultivation of feminine in me and my own chosen forms.
I recognise they match how my own masculine and feminine appears within me. This is why knowing my own masculine and feminine is so key, to recognising my match and who nature is guiding me to share with.
Seeing another on the deepest level compels all that is woman in me to draw the masculinity out of him, this is as naturally occurring as the full moon pulling on the water creating tides and rhythms and new cycles to life. Everything in me becomes available to this, because I know that in doing so, he is the one who can cultivate me, in return beyond what feels possible on my own; he has the capacity to direct me beyond what is known and I encourage him beyond what is experience before. I am aware I use the word "doing" when what is arising is spontaneous, being authentic and embodying my nature go hand in hand.
This process of natural cultivation is deeply beautiful and opens up the deepest levels of love as it gives living context for magic to express through. For the fruition and freedom to blossom; one must be fully inclusive of all parts of us, parts of ourselves that may not appearing unified within the relating or whole, perhaps contrasting desires and even chosen life paths; every angle of reality/self can be up for investigation through this natural cultivation, basic assumptions may need to be visited; definitions of relationship must first bow to the natural arising and be willing to transform along with the cultivation; this is to create your own unique relating between you beyond ideas of self and other.
The challenge of relationship emerging and resonating so close to origin within you, is it will churn up anything in you that is not yet unified with your deepest nature; this can give the impression something is not right, or perhaps wrong or not matching, this is just consciousness highlighting areas either of separation within reality, or areas that are just up for inclusion in the cultivation. The gaps are best seen as creative factors, that may still be brewing and not fully organised in to the whole yet and will mysterious inform the whole when they come into play. The key to transformation is the willingness to be deeply changed, key to flow is letting go of outcome, inclusion of the partnership falling away; as in the full capacity to let them as a sacred other go, and full willingness to claim what feels inherent to you; and thus them as a part of that, with or without the continuation of the relationship. The key to freedom here is knowing you are what is deeper than both masculine and feminine, what is inherently unsharable in nature.
The devotion must be always to the ground of freedom, and this must the mutual agreement between me and my partner; we are coming together in love, because it is naturally appearing, compelling and unique ~ and why are we doing so ~ to remember who we are; as infinity; and then the natural effect of that in embodied relationship is to take on new forms together; that creates a unique sharing between the two of you, imbued with magic. This is my foundation
I have been contemplating what is that is real about a relationship (any and every form of relationship, not just intimate), as opposed to illusory. It boils down to this for me. When the foundation of the relating is rooted in the unchanging, what you create together (the relationship) in its changing nature is real.
To say that only the unchanging is real, and all relationship is illusion is not complete, as relating that exists in continuity with infinity is a moving branch of that unchanging tree; it is the pure archetypal expression of unchanging nature.
To one who knows themselves as the unchanging, or enough to see this, the exact relational expression naturally appears as true potential, and thus produces the greatest fruits for you both. Never does it not match you both on the highest level perfectly.
To the one who is attached to an externalisation of themselves, ideas about who you are or they are with the exclusion of the unchanging awareness, the true nature of your relating gets missed, unclaimed and thus the potential between the two is unrealised.
It is here you can meet eachother as real, as opposed to an illusory figure, expressing parts of your personal dream back at you.
I have noticed the more I can surrender to what is infinite to our changing relational nature, the more I can truly meet them as real. Over time if there is willingness between us both, what is cultivated is the capacity to become what ever you need each other to be. The commitment to one another, regardless of the form in which the relating appears, becomes unshakable, unloosable, infinite in nature...even if the natural expression is to not relate at all.
Letting go of finite concepts of relationship and investment in the concept as being what the relationship is and surrendering to the realness of the unchanging is essential. The key obviously being non-attachment.
Sometimes of course this can appear to be a process, and that process should be honored and visited with compassion, the details of your intimate experience is information that when integrated becomes transmuted into the natural expression; which is why you cannot know what you will become because you are both continually informing the creation process. But stay rooted and to keep coming back to the ground of unchanging, to anchor that process.
The more willingness there is to morph in new expressions of relating the more power and charge there is, and the more magnetism you create for the creation of what you want.
You actually have no idea what you are going to continually change into and become for one another over time.
Living in continuity with infinity is freedom, and truth in my experience will always give me what I want, but always in ways I could not have imagined it.
Taking things personally delays the freedom in realising its not about you or them, it is just what perfectly is.
I also notice this becomes the resolution of co-dependency and gives rise to relating that elevates the sovereignty of all beings. Sovereignty being inherent to natural expression.
I choose this image, because it reflects my inner state as I write.
The words that come to me, "I stand alone (not exclusively), sovereignty is my nature."
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"The imaginal swirls with symbols, myths and forms of the unconscious mind of the individual, collective and universe as one - echoing the bridge between eternity and form.
The place where the dream can become known to itself, can be heard and deeply honored and lived.
The lucid dream is essential, formless, intangible and unknowable, yet deeply felt and lived...touching the heart of the dream within the dream, with the love of consciousness.